Protect your meat
Consumer Softproducts has announced the arrival of a patch for the deranged 2021 meatpunk title,Cruelty Squad. Unlike many late-arrival patches, this patch does more than just fix compatibility issues and squash minor bugs. It makes the armor in the gameactually do something.
Update: Armor now works for the first time in Cruelty Squad, a game that has been out for more than two yearshttps://t.co/DDQ9jUtw4T
— Consumer Softproducts Oy (@CSoftproducts)Jun 04, 2025
Because Consumer Softproducts gets by on deliberately mixed messages, andCruelty Squadas a whole is possibly just one big sick joke, I was honestly not certain if this was real. And by that, I mean many things. I wasn’t sure if this was a real patch. I couldn’t tell if armor wasactuallynon-functional before. And I’m still not certain if this really fixes it.
So, thankfully, I was able to findthis Steam forum threadfrom back in 2021, where users discuss non-functional armor as though it’s a commonly known thing and speculate that it seems to be a bug. Whether or not the patch truly fixes it is still pending research by someone braver and smarter than me.
What’s really funny about this is that in my review ofCruelty Squad, I mentioned that my preferred way to play was to “wear heavy armor and mow through dudes like the T-800.” So, you’re telling me that the armor wasn’t doing anything? It was just, what, giving me the confidence I needed to blow people up without cover or subterfuge?
You might be wondering how I wouldn’t have noticed something like that, but have you playedCruelty Squad? I described it as a “swirling vortex of bad design” and opined that it was nearly impossibleto approach critically. It’s hard to separate the parts of it that are intentionally bad from the ones that are just poorly designed. Or broken, in this case.
It may sound like I’m being harsh on the game, but I absolutely loveCruelty Squad. It is a captivating experience and a stark-raving naked approach to game design whose influence is already being felt in the indie sphere. The self-immolation approach to design is so compelling, and few games do it with as much unapologetic pizazz asCruelty Squad. It’s a tough game to recommend while simultaneously being one that I wish more people would try. I don’t think I can gush any more enthusiastically, so I must resort to just making a grunting noise to emphasize my point:Uurgh!
Cruelty Squadis currently contained on PC. It is currently unsupported by the Steam Deck.
