Adding to Homeland Security’s arsenal of x-ray and particle detecting technology is….a Wii Balance Board? A Wii controller is going to protect my country from foreign invaders?

Homeland Security is toying around with a new program called Future Attribute Screening Technology. It favors detecting body language over x-rays and bag checks. They look to physiological signs and visual cues to know if you intend to do harm to the United States of America.

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In their bag of tricks is the Wii Balance Board. They’ve altered it to better sense weight shift. ACNNarticle says that this would become a fidgeting monitor. Fidget too much and you might be a bomb smuggler. This, combined with other tech, could determine threats to our fine nation. I feel safe now.

What if you just really had to piss? I’d fidget. Would I be denied passage?

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