Really? I mean, REALLY!? Network execs will go to some disgusting lengths to separate parents and their money. Just slap the logo of a popular cartoon on any ol’ crap and a kid will foam at the mouth until mommy and daddy break down and give in to the child’s demands. I remember those ass-backwards Ninja Turtles figures I used to own, likeSlam Dunkin’ DonandRaph, The Space Cadet, and I’m mystified as to why my parents never slapped the stupid out of me....

I’m a simple man: I see an ad for an old PC sound card that says you can hear a robot “empty his bladder,” and I have to share it. This particular ad claims that other sound cards will let you “hear the [protagonist] empty his weapon,” but theirs (the Monster Sound MX400) will let you hear him “empty his bladder.” I really want to be a fly on the wall for some of these 90s/2000s ad exec meetings, if only to hear some person in a suit deadass sell higher-ups on the idea that gamers will love a mech suit who can piss....

“Just tell me your favourite colour, baby!” Way back in 2009, Charlie Brooker’sGameswipehadthis cutting observationabout the po-faced nature of military shooters. During a particularly grim scene inCall of Duty: World at War, Brooker flambés several soldiers, only to hit the pause button for a sip of Diet Coke. It was a swift reminder that for all the talk of valour,Call of Dutyhas always been about playing army men in the backyard....

Jade Shadowsis a core story update forWarframethat will take players past the Whispers in the Walls content and deeper into the game’s narrative when it finally arrives. Warframeis regularly updated with new content throughout the year. For more than a decade, it’s entertained players with a steadily expanding universe that shows no signs of slowing down, even if its updates add new dimensional pockets rather than substantial planets. The next update,Jade Shadows, is a smaller one in scope but it aims to pack a big punch when it comes to the amount of story it’s going to throw in....

Deadlockhas several types of damage you have to consider. Outside of burst and sustained damage like most other MOBAs, there’s also the difference between Bullet and Spirit damage. Bullet damage is straightforward given that it’s damage from bullets and similar sources like melee damage. However, Spirit isn’t immediately clear. Here’s what Spirit is inDeadlock. What does Spirit do in Deadlock? Spirit refers toanything related to ability damage. This is similar to Ability Power and Magic Resistance inLeague of Legends....

Episode 2:RevenantofDestiny 2has an incredibly lengthy intro. As your favorite Eliksni make their appearances, you’ll be guided through the foundation for how this episode will work. One critical part is performing fieldwork with and for Eido. Yet, finding the Act I Fieldwork tab is surprisingly tricky. How to access the Act I Fieldwork Tab in Revenant To access the Act I Fieldwork Tab, speak to Eido in her apothecary in The Last City....

With $500K raised, stretch goals are up next There’s a clear desire for more turn-based tactics games, and when game designer Julian Gollop sets out to “create an entirely new game whose essence lies in theXCOMgenre,”good things happen. TheX-COMcreator’s new project,Phoenix Point, has passed its $500,000 funding goal on Fig. You know what that means: stretch goals. The next funding milestone is $650,000, at which pointPhoenix Pointwill see drivable vehicles added to its production schedule....

XDefiantexecutive producer Mark Rubin had a perfectly executed joke locked and ready for a player who had all of their teammates leave a game, but the moment of fun also highlighted a troubling matchmaking issue that needs to get addressed. AnXDefiantplayer posted apictureon Twitter disappointed that all of their teammates left mid-match. Rubinjokedthat the user should have worn deodorant, which garnered laughs from community members and the player themself. However, the ability to freely leave matches without getting punished has ruined the experience for others....

Who’s that monstrosity? Everyone lovesPokémonandsomeeveryone loves Mega Bloks, so it was only a matter of time before the two of them formed the beast with the assembly required back. As part of Mattel’s new Mega Construx line, Pikachu, Charizard and other Gen 1 Pokémon (the second best gen) are now cruelly assembling their ways toward stores this Summer. The Construx line is apparently meant for teen/adult collectors, but I’m not quite sure how they’d appeal to them....

Europe is getting its own special editionDead Rising 2, so why not North America? Capcom has announced today that North America will be receiving the “Zombrex Edition,” a $79.99 package that contains a number of goodies beyond the game disc. Both the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 versions of the “Zombrex Edition” are largely the same, each shipping with a two-disc steelbook case that comes with a Zombrex syringe pen, a prescription notepad, a safety card, a 16-page Zombrex” prospectus sales brochure, and a 48-page artwork....

Tweaks to currency, difficulty, technical issues and more [Update:The patch is now live on PS4, other formats to follow soon. Full details of changes to A.I., rewards, bug fixes and other tweakscan be found right here. The free currency pack will follow in the immediate future. It’s too early to say what impact this will have on grind times, but we’ll find out as people explore the game post-patch.] Warner Bros....

There’s mischief and spooks in the air as we arrive at Halloween, andThe Sims 4is taking it up a notch by releasing theLife and Deathexpansion pack. Play as a Grim Reaper to reap souls, and guide Sims to the afterlife. Of course, even if you don’t plan on getting the new pack, you may still enjoy some terrifying fun inThe Sims 4with some amazing mods. And they’re free! Here are some of the best spooky mods you can add to your game for Halloween....

Bring back purple Link [All screenshots were taken from a Dolphin enhanced ROM calledFour Swords Adventures Enhanced. You canfind it here.] 15 years ago today, Nintendo releasedThe Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventuresin North America. An expanded take on a bonus mode offered in its GBA port ofA Link to the Past,Adventuresmade liberal use of Nintendo’s GBA Link Cable for GameCube. Four players with four Game Boy Advance systems could connect to the lunchbox and explore a new version of Hyrule together....